Fried In Crude Oil / Saunas / 200mpg


The Jungle Refinery Appears



Inside the Jungle Refinery


Hidden in the deep dark heart of Indochina is a top secret refinery producing a special blend of gasoline which enables any automobile produced in the last 20 years (1990 to 2010 for those of you reading this in the future) to experience nearly ten times in gas mileage improvement.  This means your average mid-sized car could run for nearly 3000 miles before ever needing to fill up (based on a typical 15 gallon gas tank and today's cars 17-20 mpg rating), and for many in The Colonies mean visiting a gas station only 5 times a year.

Hmm, this all reminds me of a classified assignment from my early days, when I was charged with supervising a probe insertion into a complex pipework containing 1000 deg Farenheight (538 deg C) petroleum product. Needless to say it was a highly dangerous procedure and only made worse by a simple but deadly error made by one the engineers who designed a critical component of the insertion device.  The muscle and I were nearly melted by the heat radiation and then drenched in high acid crude.  On the bright side, we each left 20% lighter and had the wonderful perk of receiving a simultaneous full sauna treatment during the workday.


Moral of this morality tale:  never assume that anything was safely designed or manufactured, always bring a towel when working in the tropics, and ditch those electric vehicles readying yourselves to make SOOPER SMAЯT PETROL® your favorite brand for a very reasonable price.  In fact, never make an assumption at all since we know what happens to you and Mp'Shun when you do.


Note: These photos are for your eyes only, so please take care that they not fall into the wrong hands.

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